科研人员在掌握了初步的英文写作技巧后,基本能够写出句子结构清晰、语法正确的论文。但是,对比英文母语语言编辑修改后的文稿,有时仍然感觉英文用词欠佳或不够地道流畅。
想要解决这些问题,就必须从高级写作技巧上系统地总结问题出现的原因和纠正措施。
错误1:直接硬译中文
这类直译问题造成语句生硬、用词啰嗦,或者不符合英文表达习惯。
例句1:在中国,一些教育机构打着颠覆传统教育的标语从事线上教育。
不好:In China, some education enterprises conducted online education with a slogan of overturning traditional education.
较好:In China, some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education.
例句2:相比于设备甲,我更相信设备乙。
不好:I believe device A more than device B.
较好:I believe device A would be more effective than device B.
例句3:随着时光流逝,这些企业从市场上消失了。
不好:These enterprises faded away from the market as time went by.
较好:Over time, these enterprises faded away from the market.
例句4:从中国教育部的统计资料可以看出,截止到2016年,中小学网络覆盖率达到87%。
不好:We have seen statistics from the Ministry of Education of China showing that the Internet access rate of elementary and high schools in China had reached 87% by 2016.
较好:Statistics from the Ministry of Education of China have shown that, by 2016, the Internet access rate of elementary and high schools in China had reached 87%.
例句5:看到这些成就,我逐渐坚定了职业方向,希望能为机械工程领域做出贡献。
不好:I have observed these achievements, and I have gradually decided my directions of career development in order to make good contributions to the field of mechanical engineering.
较好:I have observed these achievements, which inspired me to direct my career development to contribute positively to the field of mechanical engineering.
例句6:由于他们片面理解“技术”概念,导致失败。
不好:They failed due to their partial understanding of the “technology” concept.
较好:They failed due to their partial understanding of the role of technology.
例句7:这些技术不论软硬都是有用的。
错误:These technologies, regardless soft or hard, are useful.
正确:These technologies, whether soft or hard, are useful.
错误2:语言啰嗦。
这类问题造成用词偏多,篇幅过长。纠正这类问题时,不仅需要把“in order to”简化为“to”,而且需要从用词结构上予以简化。学术写作应当力求简洁精炼。
不好:This experience was the motivation for me to pursue study in mechanical engineering.
较好:This experience motivated me to pursue study in mechanical engineering.
不好:This is an important stage during the growth of children.
较好:This is an important stage in children’s growth.
不好:There are powerful voices to call for changes in systems engineering.
较好:Powerful voices are calling for changes in systems engineering.
错误3:主语和宾语的语序颠倒
这类问题的原因是写法不符合英文表达习惯。
不好:Changing people’s perception of the nature of systems engineering is the key to the success of making positive changes in system science.
较好:The key to making positive changes in system science is transforming the perception of the nature of systems engineering.
错误4:对于以“Only”开头的强调式状语,未将动词反置在主语前面
这类问题涉及以“Only after”、“Only if”、“Only in this way”等开头的句子。
错误:Only by changing the work condition, it is possible for them to finish the project.
正确:Only by changing the work condition, is it possible for them to finish the project.
错误5:没有适时强调否定式
不强调否定:The performance or the durability of the engine has not been changed.
强调否定:Neither the performance nor the durability of the engine has been changed.
错误6:表达原因的写法不符合英文习惯
不好:I thought the reason was that I was not fluent in German.
较好:I thought this was because I was not fluent in German.
不好:The reason for the engineers to choose this software was that they wanted fast computation.
较好:The engineers have chosen this software because they wanted fast computation.
错误7:没有前置状语短语
经常提倡的所谓状语后置原则是为了突出主语。但是,在安排状语短语的位置时,不应当牺牲修饰关系清晰性、语意连续性、特意强调性。
修饰关系清晰性不好:Some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education in China.
修饰关系清晰性较好:In China, some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education.
语意连续性不好:I received support from my parents when I was young in learning math.
语意连续性较好:When I was young, my parents supported me in learning math.
特意强调性不好:I studied in Shanghai in mechanical engineering during my four years of undergraduate study.
特意强调性较好:During my four years of undergraduate study, I studied in Shanghai in mechanical engineering.
错误8:未将带有“with”和动名词的状语短语变成动词从句,不符合英文表达习惯
不好:His effort will be rewarded with his careful plan and persistent pursuing.
较好:His effort will be rewarded as he pursues his careful plan with persistence.
错误9:在表达使用措施的“with”、“by”、“using”之间有混淆
不好:The gas temperature was measured with the thermocouple.
较好:The gas temperature was measured using the thermocouple.
不好:The oxygen concentration was measured by using an oxygen sensor.
较好:The oxygen concentration was measured using an oxygen sensor.
错误10:忽略必须使用的从句及其时态
错误:I found that there were numerous tools originated from modern technology.
正确:I found that there were numerous tools that had originated from modern technology.
不好:There are great differences between the children receiving quality-oriented education and the children receiving exam-oriented education.
较好:There are great differences between children who receive quality-oriented education and those who receive exam-oriented education.
错误11:误用被动语态,不符合英文表达习惯
不好:Some technologies are easy to be mastered and implemented by these companies.
较好:Some technologies are easy for these companies to master and implement.
错误12:介词多余
错误:The analysis focus was on passing inspection.
正确:The analysis focus was passing inspection.
错误:The temperature is at 100 °C.
正确:The temperature is 100 °C.
错误13:介词缺失
错误:The reduction in thermal efficiency caused by friction can be compensated by reducing heat transfer losses.
正确:The reduction in thermal efficiency caused by friction can be compensated for by reducing heat transfer losses.
错误:I searched solutions.
正确:I searched for solutions.
错误14:介词搭配错误
错误:They developed the product with joint efforts of external teams.
正确:They developed the product in a joint effort with external teams.
错误:I was admitted to the Ph.D. program of Chemistry in Washington University in 2012.
正确:In 2012, I was admitted to the Ph.D. program in Chemistry at Washington University.
错误:He provided an answer for this question.
正确:He provided answer to this question.
不好:The temperature drop leads to the reduction of thermal efficiency.
较好:The temperature drop leads to the reduction in thermal efficiency.
错误15:不定冠词“a”或“an”与定冠词“the”的混淆或缺失
错误:The maximum efficiency was 80%, obtained with the inlet gas velocity of 12 m/s.
正确:The maximum efficiency was 80%, obtained with an inlet gas velocity of 12 m/s.
错误16:用错单数和复数
错误:At a temperature above 300 ℃, the thermal efficiency decreased slightly.
正确:At temperatures above 300 ℃, the thermal efficiency decreased slightly.
错误17:漏用撇号所有格形式
虽然名词能够修饰名词,但在很多情况下,使用带撇号的所有格形式能将修饰关系表达得更清晰。
不好:The measurement point A was at the dust collector inlet.
较好:The measurement point A was at the dust collector’s inlet.
错误18:书名未使用斜体,或误用引号或中文书名号
错误:I read the books of “Principles of Vibration” and《Fluid Mechanics》.
正确:I read Principles of Vibration and Fluid Mechanics.
错误19:论文或文章的标题未加引号,或误用斜体。
错误:I wrote a thesis titled Engine Performance Analysis at High-Altitude Conditions.
正确:I wrote a thesis titled “Engine Performance Analysis at High-Altitude Conditions”.
错误20:使用口语化的非正式用词
非正式用词 | 正式用词 | 非正式用词 | 正式用词 |
point out | argue | huge | significant |
come back | return | very good at | skilled at |
so many | numerous | then | consequently |
a lot of | many | particularly | in particular |
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